I Hate You!! Now Love Me Dammit!!!
I'll be blogging a lot about the book I'm writing about showing God's love to troubled children--hence the title, if you can figure that one. I've worked with emotionally disturbed kids for over 15 years now, and I've pretty much been called every name in the book. So if I'm not too gentle sometimes in my descriptions, it's probably because that's the way things went down. I'll also write about anything and everything else that pops into my head. It is MY blog, after all. Al.
Saturday, March 24, 2018
Thursday, August 29, 2013
Night Of The Living Brat 2: Juan and Ronald
A while ago I started this Night of The Living Brat series to depict rough situations I encountered on third shift with the kids. I can't promise it will continue long as I had only a couple written before leaving that particular job. I'm actually returning to third shift at my new job this week, so who knows. But here is the second installment for your reading pleasure.
Friday, August 02, 2013
So, Just What Have You Been Saying, Al?
I work with children who are clearly broken. I doubt anyone would look down on them for their unhealthy reactions to the things they have been through. In truth, all of us are broken to one degree or another and react in unhealthy ways to our traumas. What we don't usually think about is that the people we judge and look down upon are also very broken, sometimes in more devastating ways than we could ever imagine.
We probably will never see what is below the surface of those people we look down upon and write off as not worthy of love. Oh, I know some people reading this are thinking "Oh, I don't judge anyone. I don't think I'm better than anyone." Let's be honest, though. We all do to an extent at times. It's human nature, and understandable when we look at the outside. Some people are just not very endearing or simply do reprehensible things.
Fortunately, God does not look at man in regard to the surface or our actions. He knows us inside and out. He sees the traumas and the pain behind our very worst actions. He understands more than we could ever know about ourselves, let alone those people we judge and write off as beyond love. He loves them just as much as He loves each one of us who feel we are the "worthy" ones. Our carnal perspective keeps us from understanding how unconditional His love is. We see people as worthy or unworthy of love (whether we admit it or not), good or bad, evil or divine. God sees all of us as His.
God has gone to great lengths to redeem our brokenness in ways that may or may not manifest within our lifetimes. He became one of us to take our sins, our death, and our brokenness--indeed our very humanity--upon Himself. He took it all and died with it, then resurrected us with Him as a new humanity. This is the gospel. His work is finished, whether we believe it or not. Those of us who believe benefit greatly from knowing what He has done, while those who do not know or believe cannot benefit despite it being just as true for them.
Because I have come to a different perspective of the gospel, the traditional Christianese often just doesn't work for me. When people hear me state things such as the previous paragraph, it's not uncommon for them to say "Are you saying everyone is saved?" or "Are you saying there's no Hell, or nobody's going to Hell?" I lose patience with these questions sometimes, but they're reasonable from the vocabulary of mainstream Christianity. I have to ask "What do you mean by 'saved'" or "What do you mean by 'Hell?'" Another question I'm often asked is "If God has already reconciled everybody to himself, why bother to preach the gospel?" Again, frustrating, but reasonable from the mainstream perspective.
This is why we spread the gospel--to tell the world that their sin, death, and brokenness has been redeemed by the Creator of the Universe. Some may never believe, or even be hostile and reject the very Truth, but that makes it no less true for them. It will only cause them great misery. Those are things that are objective facts, but cannot be experienced by us until we actually believe them. I work with kids who truly believe they are bad kids, or unloveable. As a result, they cannot receive praise easily for good behavior, or believe our care for them is sincere. They simply have believed lies about themselves they have been told repeatedly. The same goes for us as humanity. Until we fully come to believe we belong to God and that we have been raised to a new humanity through His resurrection, we will live as if we are slaves to sin. None of it is true, but it's very REAL to us because of the lies we have believed about ourselves.
Now about Hell. Some have accepted Dante's vision as if it's a part of the canon of scripture, despite scant scriptural evidence of that. Others simply believe Hell is eternal separation from God. I've come to believe something different. First, I believe it's completely impossible to be separated from God, who is omnipresent. Scripture also repeatedly tells us He will never leave or forsake us, and that we cannot be separated from His love. So, I've come to believe Hell is a self-imposed state experienced by those who refuse to believe or are actively hostile to the truth I've stated above and to God's all-encompassing love. I believe God will be showering His love on those miserable ones for eternity just as He will shower it on those of us who come to believe. It's just that to those who embrace it, it will be all joy, while to those who reject it, it will be all torment. Not imposed by God, but experienced by those who hate and reject His love. Will all of those eventually be won over by His love? I cannot know, but I certainly hope so.
So, are all saved? I guess if you mean forgiven, reconciled, and resurrected to new life in Christ, then yes. If you mean do all respond and accept that truth, thereby living in freedom, then certainly not. But don't think for a second that those people are any less loved, forgiven, reconciled, and alive than those of us who believe (and few of us, including myself, have fully come to believe the full truth, though we may be on the journey to having it become real to us). Let us forget the repeated lies we have been told and open our hearts to the truth of His gospel.
Thursday, August 01, 2013
Not Abandoned
Hey folks.
I haven't blogged here in quite a while. So much has happened since I did. My Dad has been experiencing some health problems, so a few months back I decided to move back to the Cincinnati area to be closer to my parents.
I came out here in June to seek work in my field and had three interviews on that trip. The day after I returned to Kansas City, I received a job offer which I accepted after a few days of consideration. And then on July 8, in the wee hours of the morning, I drove out of Kansas City on my journey here to northern Kentucky.
I've now been on my new job for two weeks, and I feel so much that I fit in very well. I have a cottage with 6 wonderful boys who I've grown very fond of. Our current group is so much easier than the kids I've been working with, but that can change with the next admission. Nothing is certain in this field.
So I am hoping to reconvene regular postings soon. I do have some posts in reserve I can use, and some others that are in the process of being written. Just be patient with me, as you have. I'll be very grateful.
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
Night Of The Living Brat-The Pilot
Tuesday, January 01, 2013
Heartless Bastard Gets What He Asks For
I suppose I asked for it.
I had been feeling progressively worse throughout the night, working on getting stuff done in my apartment on my nights off. I'd gotten my batch cooking done for the week, but really hadn't felt up to cleaning the kitchen. And then I absolutely HAD to go to the laundromat as I had waited too long last week and of course the laundromat was closed Christmas day.
So it was with great effort that I dragged myself and my huge load down to my car and then to the laundromat. As I was feeling so bad, I found a seat away from everyone and was just trying to get through it all. As I was waiting for my second load to finish, it happened as I had feared. In a flash I was over the trash can losing the contents of my stomach. Some kind, concerned people offered help and I was brought something to clean my face off. I felt a bit better afterward, but I still had to get my clothes dried before I could go home. I went and sat out in my car as it seemed sitting in a cooler environment was helping.
The following 24 hours are a misery I'd rather not relive.
But like I said, I suppose I asked for it.
Saturday night I arrived to work to find "Opie" sitting on the floor and staff was taking his temperature. I found out Opie had thrown up a little before this. I was further informed that all 5 boys were feeling sick as well. After having his temperature taken, Opie just stayed laid out on the floor, not wanting to get up. I told him he should go lay in his bed since he was sick. It was then that he revealed he wasn't going to his bed because that's where he had thrown up. So I said "why didn't you say so?" and proceeded to go clean his bed and get him fresh bedding.
When I was finished, Opie was appreciative but had to go throw up in the bathroom again. Before returning to his bed he was complaining how he just felt like dying. Heartless bastard that I was being, I made my standard joke about "dying is not allowed my my shift. Too much paperwork." Opie has a habit of being overly dramatic, and so perhaps that may explain a bit of my insensitivity, but still I imagine he just felt like I was being flippant about his suffering.
No sooner had I gotten Opie squared away but "Carter" got up and asked to shower because he had messed himself. He got to the bathroom before I was able to bring him a towel, and it wasn't until I brought him a towel that I realized he hadn't wet himself but had suffered diarrhea. Poor little dude. I suppose I was feeling a little more compassionate by this time, seeing more suffering.
So an hour into my shift I was finally done helping two of our sick kids get all cleaned up and back to bed.
Throughout the night I had a chance to interact with the other three, "Billy," who was feeling all better, "Bart," who had to get up several times and was looking like death warmed over, and finally "Vlad," who woke up screaming from a terrible nightmare and then was telling me how bad his stomach felt.
You'd better believe, after experiencing what my little guys at work had been going through I will be personally apologizing to each (especially Opie) for my lack of sensitivity.