What to say?

I'm really trying to better about posting. I so rarely get out the myriad thoughts in my head. For one thing, to let those thoughts out makes me feel vulnerable. For another thing, I'm way too much of a perfectionist about my writing. This is why I've been working on a novel for over 12 years when I probably could have been done 7 years ago.

Sometimes I fool myself into thinking I would work on more writing if I had more time. But I piss away so much of my off time doing unimportant things. If I had a laptop, I might actually write while at work and primarily have to just be present and assure the children sleep safely and take care of any needs which arise during the night(indeed I have occasionally found a scrap of paper to write down my thoughts while I'm there). However, I have a feeling I would still waste a lot of time due to the aforementioned fear of vulnerability and imperfection.

When I begin school, one thing I will have to get is a laptop to work on papers and such while I'm at work. I guess I can check that theory out when that happens.