Working third shift, I don't get as much
face time with the kids as I'd like sometimes.
Of course, I also have more neutral time to reflect on the kids'
positive attributes than people on other shifts because I have longer
interludes between getting called all sorts of names, hit, kicked, etc., by
them.
So when I do see the kids I try to do
what I can to encourage and affirm them.
Every kid needs to be encouraged in a different way. Some are more visual, others, more audial,
while still others more tactile--or any combination of other things.
There's one boy I work with who had the
same name as another boy on the dorm when he arrived, so we mostly refer to him
by his last name. And because his first initial and last name combined was the
name of a particular animal, his nickname became that animal name. He never seemed to mind much, but one night
while bored I thought up a few lines using his name, beginning with "His
name is (his last name), he's not a (his nickname), and then the last couple
lines really represented one of his favorite activities. So a few days later I was working an extra
day shift on his dorm and sang this little jingle to him out of the blue. He really got a kick out of that. I had no
idea just how appropriate this was until I mentioned it to one of the day
staff, who told me this boy really likes making up little songs like that, and
said "next time you see him he'll probably make one up for you." He hasn't yet, but I filed that information
away for further use and I've made up a few rhymes for him since that have
elicited his big, goofy grin.
I have another boy who occasionally wets
the bed and so has to take a shower sometimes at night. He's a chatty little guy and would stay up
forever as long as I would listen and have a conversation with him. And so I
make sure to chat with him for a few minutes, giving verbal encouragement when
I can before sending him back to bed after giving him a hug or sometimes just a
pat on the back. I should mention that
just because a kid is chatty at night doesn’t mean I will necessarily have a
conversation with him, but this little guy always does well at accepting the
limit when I decide our short chat is over.
I had another boy a while back who would
wake at least once almost every night and sit up in bed for a minute or
two. He'd usually wave at me, and I'd
make sure to ask him how he was doing.
Most nights he'd have little to say before laying back down to sleep,
but anytime he had good news or had been excited about an activity he'd
participated in, he'd make sure to update me before laying down to sleep. This brings to mind another boy from a while
back. I got used to seeing him look out
his room door in the middle of the night, flash a big smile, and wave. All he
needed was a smile and wave back.
Just recently I had two boys who were
having birthdays. Since I knew both would probably still be asleep when I left,
I left each a little note on his dresser just wishing them a happy
birthday. I stopped by the dorm a couple
days later while on break from an overtime day shift on another dorm just so I
could say hi to all the guys. The one boy thanked me for the birthday note,
while I heard that the other boy (who was on home pass) enjoyed his note via his
little roommate.
Recently I found a new, yet somewhat
generic way to give the kids encouragement. On my shift I’m responsible for
folding the kids’ clothes and putting them in their rooms. I also make sure to
get new clothing marked with their names/initials when I know who the owner is,
and refresh their names/initials on clothing where the ink is fading. One night I was in a particularly fun mood
and began adding things after their initials like (initials) “is awesome” or (initials) “rocks.
When I can think of encouraging things to make of their initials I do so, for
example “J.M.= Just Magnificent.” It’s
fun for me and fun for them when they find what I’ve written.
I can't think of a greater joy than
seeing a child's face when you give them encouragement. The kids I work with
have gotten so many negative messages about themselves it's almost like they
can't believe it when they receive the positive.
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