Unexpected Gratitude

I don't do what I do for the money or for glory, but it's really nice when the occasional kid expresses gratitude for some little thing.

Saturday night after bedtime, one boy came to his doorway asking if he could check his pants because he thought he left a pen and some other things in the pocket.  I had already started laundry, so it was a bit too late.  I told him this did tell him I'd look for the items he was worried about.  It was then that I decided to go and fish through the load to see if I could salvage his stuff before it was ruined.  I was able to fish out some of the items which weren't in danger of being ruined, but not the pen. So I took those items to him and assured him I'd still keep my eye out.

I was able to find the pen and the rest of the boy's stuff when I was transferring the clothes to the dryer. The pen was leaking ink and I figured it was ruined, but I figured I'd get it to him anyway. I left his stuff on his dresser along with the following note:

(name),

I think your pen may be ruined, but I was able to get it out of the washer along with the other things you were worried about.

I had pretty much forgotten all about it by last night when I arrived to work, but as I was bringing his clean clothes to his room to put on top of his dresser, I noticed the note I had written was still there. I was a bit surprised as this kid is always very good at keeping his room neat and the top of his dresser clear of items. When I looked at it, that's when I saw that he had left me a reply:

Thank you!!!
-P.S. The Pin works.

And of course I replied "You're welcome and I'm glad."

For all the times I get cursed at, hit, kicked, or have stuff thrown at me, these are the moments that remind me why I do what I do. Not for a thank you, but because I make some small difference in a child's life. I'm sure the kids appreciate what I do more often than I hear it from them, but it's always nice to hear it.

Hard Lessons and Jedi Mind Tricks.

I worked a double shift Saturday night.  As a third shift worker, I enjoy taking the occasional active shift in order to get to know the kids on my dorms better and keep my skills sharp.  I usually look forward to it, but it's a hit or miss depending on the day.

Sadly, my extra shift didn't really live up to my expectations, but then sometimes that adds up to even more than you could have expected. Fortunately, I can always pull out and hold on to the positives and learn from the negatives.

It's not generally politically correct to admit you have favorites, but then I've rarely been accused of being politically correct.  You're always gonna have favorites; you just have to recognize the fact and make sure to treat everyone equally. Anyway, there are a few of the boys I was really looking forward to working with and getting to know a little better. Unfortunately, it was a couple of those boys who stayed in trouble through the night and thus weren't able to do much.

There's one boy who I see somewhat often at night because he wets the bed. This provides a fair amount of one on one bonding time, and so I've grown quite fond of the little guy.  When it's just him, he's very pleasant and easy to handle.  However, get him around the other kids and you get constant drama.  One of the lessons I gleaned the other night came from both watching how my co-worker dealt with him and how I did.  This boy has massive boundary issues as well as a penchant for aggravating the hell out of his peers, so much of the time we had to separate him from them.  He spent a good part of the evening in what some might call "time outs."  I think most of the time this intervention might have been helpful, but our execution sometimes made things worse.  First of all, whenever we told him to go sit in a certain area, he began pleading for another chance.  My co-worker's approach was to increase his time because he was trying to beg off. At another time I found myself doing the same thing. The predictable result was more acting out in response to getting even worse consequences.  I think we both lost perspective.

So what do should we have done differently? First, when giving the boy his consequence, we could have improved by calling him over to talk face to face, and only then telling him what his consequence was, and for what behavior. Second, when he tried to beg off, simply sticking with the original consequence would have been better, and then reminding him he could go back to playing afterward. Third, I think the duration of the "time outs" was excessive. There were times when the boy complied for a good amount of time, only to still be sitting there not released to try again--resulting in him getting frustrated and acting out, only to earn more time.  And last, we really needed to give more positive feedback when he was doing well.

Another lesson I gleaned comes from a strategy I used with a fair amount of success in my early days in my field.  During TV time when the boys would start acting up, I simply switched off the TV and made it clear that I would turn it back on when the negative behavior stopped.  This was mostly a result of me being tired and impatient.  A better strategy would be to still have switched the TV off, but then discussed what was going on at that moment.  Perhaps we could have gotten some issues resolved and been able to get off the dorm for some gym time. I really think we missed an opportunity.

Those were the two biggest lessons I gleaned from the other night, but I also had an epiphany on Sunday morning as I sat in a worship service. I feel this was the Holy Spirit speaking to my heart.  All of a sudden a question came to me. I find it fairly easy to look at the kids I really enjoy and see how God is expressing Himself in and through their life and personality, but what if I looked at the ones I have a hard time getting along with and found His expression? How would that change how I saw them, dealt with them, valued them? That's an easy thing to say in a generic way, but what if I let it become a reality in my daily dealing with them?  Perhaps I'd make fewer stupid mistakes like the ones described above.

Okay, lessons learned is a good thing. Let's talk about the fun, pleasant moments.

*We had a little six-year-old from another dorm hanging out with us on our dorm. That little guy is a real pistol.  My co-worker spent a lot of time dealing with his negative behavior, having separated him from the older ones in an adjoining room. But when he wasn't acting up, we kept the little guy busy running back and forth across the dorm to demonstrate how fast he was, then varying the theme by having him do the same thing on hands and feet, crawling like an army man, and any other variation my co-worker could think of. Naturally some of the other boys wanted to get in on that act as well, so laughs were shared all around.

*When I arrived for the day I was immediately greeted enthusiastically by the boy who later spent most of his evening in time outs and such. I was treated to a hug and lots of chatter from him.  Throughout the evening I would periodically cheer him up by exploiting his inability to keep from cracking a smile and laughing whenever I told him sternly "you'd BETTER not smile" or gave him the evil eye.

*The second boy I had really been looking forward to working with was really having difficulty keeping his anger in check. Fortunately he was willing to chat with me about it and talk about what has helped him in the past with his anger. I was able to help him out because I'd seen him do it well the last time I worked an evening with him.  This same boy later started a little trend when he lay on the floor and stuck his legs up on a table, lifting his upper body in an amazing show of ab strength--especially since he's a pretty chunky kid.  He ended up showing the rest of the boys up as none of them--even the really trim ones--could do it more than once.

*The third boy I had really been looking forward to working with that day was just pleasant and fun in general that night, without any real standout moments. However, he WAS funny at bedtime when I went to say goodnight to him and found he had snuck a snack into his room. This kid is SO bad at being sneaky and dishonest because he always gives himself away.  I hope he never becomes a politician, because he can't lie to save his life.

*Then there's the fourth boy I had really been looking forward to working with. He's kind of a nerdy little guy, so naturally we hit it off really well when I worked with him the first time. He was just fun and pleasant in general and since he stayed out of trouble the whole night I was able to give him more positive personal attention throughout the evening. However, the most memorable moment was at bedtime when, out of the blue, he looked at me, waved his hand in a "jedi mind trick" move and said something like "you don't want to send us to bed now. You want to let us stay up late."  It was especially hilarious because I had been contemplating doing the same thing with another kid I knew would get the reference.  Well now I think I may have a new favorite kid--just kidding, but only slightly.

So by the time my normal 10pm-6am shift started and I had to go to the other dorm, I was already exhausted.  Fortunately, I was able to get through the night without any kids waking up to start drama, but my night was capped off with one little boy waking about 20 minutes before my shift ended. This kid often wakes early, but sits and plays in his bed quietly, so I had the opportunity to have a short little chat with him and give him positive feedback and encouragement.

What better way to end this post but with a limerick. But I don't do limericks, so y'all are gonna have to make do with this wholly unsatisfying last paragraph.  Heh. You see what I did there?

Where The Hell You At, Al?

It seems I have been neglectful. Fear not. Thoughts are brewing in this head of mine and I feel posts coming.

Testing. Testing. Is this thing on?

Okay, so I’m gonna try out Windows Live Writer  for blogging.  This is a test post.

Weird Being In Limbo.

So as I type this I'm at a Panera Bread using their wifi connection. I'm a creature of routine and comfy in my own domain, so travel is always a bit uncomfortable no matter how fun and adventurous.

My trip to Cincinnati this time was eventful. This is the second time I've traveled by train. Did it back in January and I'm sold on it. More leg room, less hassle(no tsa), and you can get up and walk around as well as enjoy the scenery as much as you wish. Good introvert travel situation, if a bit uncomfortable sometimes due to all the meeting of new people. Anyway, this trip was not without a glitch. My train from Kansas City did not leave until 2 and a half hours after its scheduled departure, which would make me miss my connection in Chicago. Due to the delay, Amtrak had those of us who were going to Indianapolis or farther get off at Galesburg, Illinois. They put us on a pretty comfy shuttle bus where we would meet our connecting train in Indianapolis, then take the train the rest of the way.

Being a fairly outgoing and social introvert, I actually found this to be enjoyable. On a bus with fifteen total strangers, all in the same predicament, was fun even as it took me out of my comfort zone. When we got to Indianapolis, we had about 3 hours to wait until our train arrived. Conversations were struck up, we watched each others' belongings while we had to go find refreshments or use the restrooms, and otherwise became a little bit less strangers.

Now I'm still out of my element having to go to some public place just to access the internet, but it's also enjoyable as I'm an avid people watcher. another week before I take the long journey home. I'm going to be exhausted but better off for the experiences.

WoooHoooo

Okay, so I am switching back to Blogger for blogging. The current system had a word count limit that just wasn't gonna be acceptable. But Blogger has always been good. It won't post to my site like it used to, but that's not a biggie. Anyway, Keeping the provocative title though.

Magic remedy.

I wish there was a magic cold remedy I could take ONCE which would immediately eradicate my cold. I've been fighting off this cold for a while now. It started out not really bothering me except when I would sneeze. I would sneeze and then my throat would suddenly start hurting. In the past week my throat has started becoming scratchy. This weekend I've had a sore throat and been losing my voice all weekend.

I just wish this would end. I was going to participate in Cincinnati Idol, which was to be held this Wednesday night and next Wednesday night. But unless some miracle happens I won't be in any shape to sing this Wednesday. Besides that, I just feel miserable with my throat hurting.

Paid Fun again.

Okay, so I took the fourth of my clients out today. What a talker. I think he talked almost nonstop from the moment we went out the door to when we came back. He's a hyper little 9-year-old who looks like Ralphie from "A Christmas Story." We went to a store to look around and get to know each other. The kid's really smart and funny as well. I liked him immediately. I had to prod to get some of the other kids to talk at times, but this little guy can carry the conversation. That's a relief for someone like me who's quiet at first when I meet people. Like the rest of my clients, he behaved fairly well, with just a few reminders about minor things.

Still enjoying the part time gig a lot.

More Paid Fun

A trip to an art gallery was on the agenda today. Some of it was by art students, while others were from professionals. There was a display of 50 years of art from a particular artist. It was interesting to see how the artist's style changed over the years. The young man I was mentoring was pretty into the whole thing, much to my surprise. I wasn't sure how he would respond, so it was a relief.

Afterward, we went and browsed around at a store before I took him home.

The kids I'm working with at the part time job are so much easier to work with than the ones in residential. Both are rewarding and challenging, but in different ways.

Tomorrow I have my first outing with the fourth of my clients. I don't know if I'll be adding any others at this point. All the driving around gets pretty tedious. None of them live within 15 miles of me, so just going to pick them up and coming home takes quite a bit of time.

I'm Getting Paid For This?

It's amazing that I get paid for what I do on my second, part time, job.

Today I got paid $10 per hour to take a little boy to an exhibit of exotic trees and plants at the Krohn's Conservatory. When we first walked in and he saw the exhibit, he lit up and said "Wow!" He described it as awesome. Afterward we made a McDonalds stop before fighting traffic back home.

Afterward I got to meet the other two boys I'll be working with. They're siblings, so when I was picking up the one I met with tonight I got to meet the other one. We went to a local Megastore and browsed around mostly in the toy section. We even had a really short lightsaber battle. Really short--didn't want to get the hyper 6-year-old riled up or cause a scene in the store. We got along very well and he was fairly well-behaved although he's a handful.

$10 per hour plus mileage.

Am I really getting paid for this? Of course there's also the paperwork I'll have to fill out for billing purposes, but the field work is fun and rewarding even if challenging at times.

My own problems?!?!

I subscribe to Netflix, which works out well since I work third shift and have time to watch a lot of movies, read, or write during my shift. So it's pretty cost-effective since I tend to send the movies right back the next day.

Anyway, I dropped some movies off on Friday afternoon (or it could have been Thursday even) at the mailbox place I use when I get packages and anything else that doesn't fit in my mailbox (basically anything that's over 1" x2"--okay, slight exaggeration). Since it was after mail delivery time they should have gone out in the next day's mail. Saturday I went by again and noticed the outgoing mail bin contained my three movies which should have gone out. I know they're mine because Rhonda, the proprieter always says she knows those big red mailers are mine--I'm the only customer who gets Netflix. I thought it was a little strange and I was a little irritated, but figured they'd go out on Monday.

So today I stopped by and find three Netflix mailers in my mailbox. I thought that was strange since having gone out on Monday, Netflix would only have been receiving my returns today. I hadn't received any notifications that they had received my movies or sent more out, so when I took them out of my mailbox I noticed they were the same three that were outgoing mail.

I took them to Rhonda and let her know they were actually outgoing mail and had been put in my mailbox inadvertently. I also mentioned I had seen them still in the outgoing box Saturday night. She then told me she had had a heart attack on Thursday night. Well, that explains why they didn't go out and why she was still sorting through a bunch of incoming mail this morning. I felt kinda bad. I told her I'm glad she's okay. She's a really nice lady and doesn't have anyone else working for her. She's had part time people, but they've come and gone.

My own problems? Somehow my Netflix delay seems silly to have been frustrated about in light of the situation.

First Meetings

I had my first two meetings with kids I'll be working with. Monday I called to set up times for the two boys I was supposed to see Tuesday. Setting up the one was easy. The other one I couldn't get ahold of the Mom until Tuesday morning. She said she would be gone until about 6pm. I was meeting the first between 4 and 4:30 so that would have worked fine.

In the meantime I called and arranged pickup for the boy I was supposed to work with today.

The first little guy was a joy. A little 5-year-old. Not shy at all, and friendly. We wentand walked around Meijer for a while before letting him ride one of those rocking horse rides. It only cost a penny. After that we stopped at Wendy's before I took him home. He was very well-behaved. Standard issue 5-year-old, so there were some reminders not to run off or get into things he shouldn't be messing with. A couple times he tested limits, and once he told me "no." All it took to redirect him was to give him the look. He responded well to that look that says "arguing is not an option."

After that, I tried again to get ahold of the mom of the second client (whose brother I am also supposed to work with). No answer. So I went ahead and tried to find the house with the Mapquest directions while trying again to reach the mom. The street I was supposed to turn on was marked badly so I passed it twice in the dark and rain before finding it. When I got to the house it was dark. Still hadn't heard from the mom.

Today I picked up the 12-year old. It soon became apparent that we will get along well. We have a lot of common interests. I got there late and had to make an extra stop. On top of that, we got a little lost on the way to his meeting I was taking him to so we didn't have time to go do anything else.

So I still haven't heard back from the other boys' mom. I'm not going to chase her by phone anymore as I really don't want to go through the same wild goose chase trying to meet up with them tomorrow. I'll probably try to call ONCE tomorrow, but if I don't reach her I'm not pushing it. My boss can deal with it as it sounds like it's an ongoing issue.

So things are going good so far. I look forward to working with these two and eventually meeting the other two (reportedly they're more difficult.)

Twelve Second Sequence.

Well, I've been doing the 3 hour plan and 8 minutes in the morning for a few months, but was excited to start on the 12 second sequence.

I just completed my first workout. Wow. I really do feel like I spent an hour in the gym. Who knew I could feel such a burn from so relatively small amount of weight just by working smarter? Apparently Jorge Cruise did. ;-)

I just had my birthday a few days ago and treated myself to a free day of indulgence. I guess I earned it. I've already lost 36 pounds and it was my birthday. However, I never want to do that again. I felt like crap the next day. I feel so much better when I eat healthy.

I guess I've rambled enough. I'm going to wrap this up.

It's my Birthday.

I'm Thirty-Six years old today, and don't feel a day over 25. I'm actually in better shape than I was at 25 too.

Weekend update.

Well, regarding the last post, it did NOT work out well. Perhaps if I had eaten the grilled eggplant right away, it would have been better. Also, I overspiced it. The next night I made eggplant with garlic and herb pasta sauce. That was good. The last couple nights I made zucchini with pasta sauce, which I always enjoy. (Thanks Mom)

Had a good weekend at work, including working MLK holiday. Unfortunately, today the kids had a 2 hour school delay, so I did not get to interact with them this morning, with the exception of the two youngest, who woke up early. I do look forward to seeing the kids on the mornings I actually have to get them up. I just avoid working active shifts because of the political environment of the organization and the industry. I feel it takes away from being able to be effective with the children.

Today I have training for the mentoring gig. I think I'm going to enjoy it. It'll be a challenge.

I have so much to do today before I go, though. So I'd better wrap this up and get going.

Hope this works out well.

I'm trying a new item tonight. Grilled eggplant. I used my electric grill to grill 200 grams of eggplant to go along with some hot wings tonight. The only big disadvantage is that I will be eating it reheated. I'll have to try it fresh from the grill at another time. That's one of the disadvantages of having to prepare a whole night of food beforehand. I can do a lot more on my days off when I'm home.

Hopefully everyone will be at work tonight. Last week somebody called off so I was stuck on one of the units instead of being the floater.

Here's hoping.

New part time job

I attended the weekly clinical meeting at my new part time job today. The program director was sick and wasn't there, so it was with three other people I had never met. A little awkward, but I really felt comfortable with them by the time I left.

Afterward I went to Middletown to visit my parents. Apparently my boss had meant for me to start some duties today. I got a call from the lady who was filling in for her around noon. I was expected to be picking up one of the kids from school for a couple hours today. I'm guessing my boss was going to talk to me about this at the meeting today and give me directions to the school, but obviously she couldn't since she was sick. I actually had plans and initially said I couldn't do it, but then called back and said I would--didn't want to leave the parent in a bind, and I was close enough to the area that it was convenient. I also thought it would be good to meet one of the kids I'll be working with. So she gave me the foster parent's number. After talking to the foster parent, who hadn't known it was my first day, we agreed it might be better for her to arrange her mother-in-law to pick the boy up. I assured her it would be no problem and I didn't want to inconvenience her. But since he's apparently a pretty difficult kid, she felt I'd be better equipped to handle him after having my initial training with my boss.

I'm a little relieved since it took some time pressure off my day, but it would have been cool if it had worked out the other way too.

Media

Dear News Media,

Whatever Britney Spears has done now, I DON'T CARE!!

Shut up already.




That is all.

Thoughts for Monday.

Last night I weighed in. I have officially lost 34 pounds, which means I'm over halfway to my tentative goal.

Work was nice and quiet, although an unusual amount of kids got up in the middle of the night, one waking from a nightmare. The kids didn't have school this morning due to an in-service, but as usual, a few of them wake up early. The first to get up was a girl, who asked if she could go ahead and do her morning hygiene routine. Almost as soon as I told her yes, a little boy (the one I referred to as Sanford in a previous post) popped into his doorway and grinned really big. I said "I knew I'd see you as soon as I let her go." So after giving him a hard time about it, I let him get up as well. Fortunately, it was about 10 minutes before the rest of them started waking up and wanting to come out. In the meantime, "Sanford was getting a bunch of positive attention from staff in the common area. It was cute to watch him having fun just being a little boy instead of being at a peer's throat as has occurred too many mornings. These are the times that make it all worthwhile.

What to say?

I'm really trying to better about posting. I so rarely get out the myriad thoughts in my head. For one thing, to let those thoughts out makes me feel vulnerable. For another thing, I'm way too much of a perfectionist about my writing. This is why I've been working on a novel for over 12 years when I probably could have been done 7 years ago.

Sometimes I fool myself into thinking I would work on more writing if I had more time. But I piss away so much of my off time doing unimportant things. If I had a laptop, I might actually write while at work and primarily have to just be present and assure the children sleep safely and take care of any needs which arise during the night(indeed I have occasionally found a scrap of paper to write down my thoughts while I'm there). However, I have a feeling I would still waste a lot of time due to the aforementioned fear of vulnerability and imperfection.

When I begin school, one thing I will have to get is a laptop to work on papers and such while I'm at work. I guess I can check that theory out when that happens.